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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23449906">In a Meatball State of Mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi'>Dresupi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Crack, F/M, Humor, Meet-Cute, One Shot, Pre-Relationship, Short One Shot, Soulmates, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:14:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,298</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23449906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dresupi/pseuds/Dresupi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where every single soulmate's words are the same, Darcy Lewis meets her soulmate on the first day of her job</p><p>Mamma mia, that's a spicy meatball.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bruce Banner/Darcy Lewis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Darcy Lewis April Fool's Crack Challenge 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In a Meatball State of Mind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the April Fool's Crack Challenge, prompt #2: Weird Soulmate Surprise. I used the generator and got the prompt: "upon meeting your soulmate you can only say mamma mia that's a spicy meatball until you consummate the bond"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>DARCY</strong>
</p>
<hr/><p>Darcy reached up to straighten the hem of her blouse, her heels clicking on the tiled floor of the lab as she followed Jane and Tony around the complex. She was head of internet security. <em>Officially</em>. Really, she was just around to make sure none of these idiots tried to help a Nigerian Prince or something.</p><p>It had been a few years since she’d been working with Jane, then grad school happened for a while. , But now, here she was, back again with her BFF, sliding into a new and prestigious career at Stark Industries.</p><p>Hopefully, that meant she’d have her student loans paid off in no time.</p><p>“This is the floor where Dr. Banner works,” Tony said, obviously directing his info back to Darcy because Jane already knew Dr. Banner. “Do you know Dr. Banner?”</p><p>“That’s Hawkeye, right?” Darcy quipped, arching an eyebrow.</p><p>“Ha, Ha, Ha,” Tony deadpanned. “Look, I’m just making sure, okay?”</p><p>“Who wouldn’t know of Bruce Banner?” she asked. A rhetorical question, but Tony answered her anyway.</p><p>“I dunno, but I don’t want to make assumptions,” he replied. “You’ve met, then?”</p><p>“Not <em>met</em>, per se… but I know who he is and I could pick him out of a lineup.”</p><p>No joke. She sort of had a mini-crush on the good doctor. Or the green doctor. Not anything serious that would embarrass her or anything, but he was twitchy and dorky and that was totally her type. Silver fox attributes aside, which didn’t hurt at all.</p><p>“Well, you’re going to meet him, because everyone needs to know who you are. I’m not losing data because someone clicks on a suspicious link in an email.”</p><p>“You know you can solve this problem with a well-worded memo, right?” Darcy asked.</p><p>“Trying to talk yourself out of a job, Lewis?” Tony joked.</p><p>“No, she’s not,” Jane answered for her, linking her arm through hers. “If it wasn’t this, you could hire her on for her hacking skills alone.”</p><p>“You make me sound like I’m some kind of Black Hat behind a white mask or something,” Darcy mumbled. “I honestly know how to make fake IDs. That’s it.”</p><p>“Fake IDs that fooled SHIELD,” Jane supplied.</p><p>“Not for long.”</p><p>“For long <em>enough</em>,” her friend insisted.</p><p>“Alright, so Darcy Lewis, meet Dr. Bruce Banner,” Tony interrupted, standing in front of an apparently empty lab station. “Brucey, meet our new head of internet security.”</p><p>A head popped up, a mess of salt and pepper curls, a pair of brown eyes and a very rumpled oxford were attached. He wasn’t really speaking, just glancing up at the display in front of him and groaning before dropping back down under the desk.</p><p><em>Pleased to meet you too…</em> Darcy thought cattily. She knew he was busy, but come <em>on</em>.</p><p><em>“The least you could do is nod in my general direction,” </em>Darcy mumbled.</p><p>Or <em>thought</em> that was what she was mumbling.</p><p>Because what came out instead was, “Mamma mia, that’s a spicy meatball.”</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>She clapped her hand over her mouth, taking a quick peek to make sure no one heard her.</p><p>Not now. Not today. Not someone who couldn’t even take the time to look at her when introduced.</p><p>Soulmate meetings were oftentimes awkward, given the circumstances around when someone actually <em>met</em> their mate. Everyone knew what it was when it happened. Everyone had a story. And this was apparently hers.</p><p>In front of Tony, Jane, and Dr. No Eye Contact.</p><p>Well, if Dr. No Eye Contact ever <em>spoke</em>, he’d know.</p><p>God, she didn’t want to do this in front of people.</p><p>She turned and ran from the room, likely leaving two very confused faces and Bruce behind.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>BRUCE</strong>
</p>
<hr/><p>Bruce frowned at the retreating woman. He was about to finish up here and then he could properly introduce himself. He wasn’t a neanderthal or anything. He was just in the middle of a thought. That, and his external hard drive wasn’t connecting. He knew he <em>should</em> use the cloud, (or the StarkTech version of it) but the fact that Tony had to hire an internet security specialist explained why Bruce felt more comfortable using the hard drive.</p><p>He finished entering the data into his equation and hit return on the keyboard. All thoughts of rude new employees flew from his brain as he realized exactly what he’d done.</p><p>As was usual for him, he couldn’t find the words, so he simply snapped his fingers at the screen until Tony walked around and looked.</p><p>“Whoa, that’s…” Tony began.</p><p>Bruce crossed his arms and proudly replied, “Mamma Mia, that’s a spicy meatball.”</p><p>His eyes immediately widened, and Tony shot Jane a look.</p><p>“Ohhhhhh,” Jane nodded in understanding. “<em>That’s</em> why Darcy ran out of here.”</p><p><em>What?</em> Bruce tried to say, except it came out “Mamma”, so he promptly closed his mouth again. Until he found Darcy, somehow got to know her and consummated their soulmate bond, he wasn’t going to say anything else ever again.</p><p>Damn, he was going to have to get good at texting, wasn’t he?</p><p>Bruce reached for a marker and scribbled something on the whiteboard. <em>“Where did she go?”</em></p><p>“Her apartment’s upstairs,” Jane replied. “Thirty-third floor. Apartment B.”</p><p>Bruce nodded and turned to leave, trying not to pay attention to Tony’s snickers at his non-academic outburst. He’d laugh later. This had to be taken care of.</p><p>He went into the elevator, and FRIDAY asked him where he’d like to go.</p><p>“Mamma Mia, that’s a spicy meatball,” he replied quickly, closing his eyes and shaking his head.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Dr. Banner. I don’t know how to get to Mamma Mia that’s a spicy meatball. Please use the app on your phone if you’re unable to speak loudly.”</p><p>He pulled out his phone and quickly told FRIDAY to take him to the thirty-third floor. He was bouncing on his toes as he waited for the doors to open.</p><p>Once they did, he bolted from the elevator, skidding to a halt when he saw Thor hanging out on the sofa in the common area.</p><p>He wanted to ask for apartment B, but he knew if he did, he’d just say <em>it</em> again.</p><p>Bruce bit down on his lip and pulled out his phone, texting Thor instead. “Darcy’s place?”</p><p>Thor pulled out his phone and smiled. “That way. This explains the meatballs.”</p><p>He shook his head and went in the direction the thunder god pointed. He’d explain later. When his vocabulary wasn’t so limited.</p><p>Once he was outside Darcy’s door, he froze. What was he going to do? To say?</p><p>Well, there was only one thing he <em>could</em> say, so he supposed that narrowed it down.</p><p>He pressed the doorbell and she came to answer it, peeking out and blushing furiously. She had her lips pressed tightly together, looking very much like she was painfully embarrassed, and Bruce was suddenly filled with the urge to make her feel better. The tingling of a soulmate bond not yet consummated.</p><p>He had to make her feel better.</p><p>So he spoke.</p><p>“Mamma Mia, that’s a spicy meatball.”</p><p>She burst out laughing at that. “Mamma Mia… <em>that’s</em> a spicy meatball,” she replied.</p><p>Grinning, he pulled out his phone and gestured to where hers likely was in her pocket. She reached for it and pulled it out.</p><p>He tapped out a quick text. “Hi, Darcy. I’m Bruce.”</p><p>Her reply was lightning fast. “I know that already, goober. Tell me something I don’t know so we can actually talk about more than spicy meatballs.”</p><p>-“I’m hungry,” he texted. “Wanna eat?”</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied quickly. “I’m in the mood for Italian, how about you?”</p><p>He snorted out a laugh and scrolled through emojis to find the meatball one. He sent it and she giggled, standing back from the door and allowing him inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special thanks to thestanceyg for coming up with this particular soulmate crack prompt! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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